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April 20 Easter againIve written 4 blogs but deleted them after thinking they were 'too cheesy, too deep, too fruffy, too.....' so im going ot write this and not delete it! So here goes, ........ Ive been in Seattle (my 2nd home) for almost 2 weeks, which is super duper but also sad because ive to go home on Saturday :(, im loving life here, and just enjoying being spoiled by Haley! Im glad I have great friends like her! Keep me grounded and spoiled at the same time! Were having a great old time, hanging out, shopping, her kids are so cool. Ethan is the man, Mason is getting there! Last week I turned 25, scary eh? yeah it is! But I seriously had the best party ever, I got so many things it was very special! I felt very loved! Which I know I am :) heehee. Easter was very different here, the kids look for plastic eggs all over the grass and then spend the day eating and getting hyper while parents get fed and sleepy! not a great combination, but man do kids get a good deal! We did go to a Good Friday and an Easter Sunday service, both were very good! really dramatic i guess but very effective! The pastor is so gifted in their Church, I remember his one line which was about people not making any effort to get to Church, he was like 'Jesus got outta the grave today, why wouldn't you get outta your bed' it was very true though. Im having the best time here in Seattle, I could completely live here and not feel homesick as I have a family here too! I love it! Wonder what God thinks? Right guys I knew it would be random but hey if I bored you, at least you have the pics! they are great! February 04 Febuary's FogDriving along the road I see nothing other than my car lights. Its dark and Im trusting that as I keep driving the road wont fail to meet my tyres. While I continue to put all my concentration and energy into keeping my eyes on the 3m's of road I can see, it gets me thinking................ in this life what do we put all our energy and trust in? Good question eh? If I was being honest, and I am, I have to say that I put too much energy and trust in myself! There are days when I know that I can't do things on my own but I refuse to acknowlede the fact and try harder, which results in frustration and anger. Why do I have such a problem these days surrendering my life to the One who gave it to me? I see this road Im driving, which is smothered with fog, just like my life. In my life I have no idea where Im going, what is 3 months ahead of me, but I have to trust that my feet cling to the path God has lain out for me. Who knows whats aroud the next corner? On those roads with no centre line I need to be extra focused on the goal. Just like the fact that Im 100% sure the road will always be there for my tyres if I concentrate, so will my path be there for my feet if I keep my focus on God.
There is a lot of fog in our lives, but it keeps us on our toes, Gods plans are perfect, and we have no reason to doubt! Look how far we have come?
'Turn your eyes upon Jesus, Look full in His wonderful face, And the things of Earth, will grow strangly dim, in the Light of His Glory and Grace.'
Focus.Concentrate.Energy.Trust.Believe. November 13 Proof....
October 24 'Would You Wait?'OK so here I am, just me and the One who created me. And Im wondering what He has in store for me? I wonder and lust and pray and seek and try to find my future in different things, but the whole time God is saying 'Would you wait?'
Why do i have a problem waiting? I wish I could see my future, and where Ill be, who Ill be with and what Ill be doing, but at the same time I wish I could go back and visit the past. Do you see whats happened here? Every thing revolves around me!! Is it any wonder things aren't going the way Id like them too!
Why do I try to do things by myself?God has brought me this far, and Im sure He has better plans for my future than I have. God why do you keep loving me even when I turn from you to try life on my own? You have so much that I can learn, even the small things. God You are the essence of all those Fruits of the Spirit.Love,Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness,Goodness,Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self Control.
Once again I come to you and ask for your open arms to embrace me and direct my footsteps in this world. You are the Alpha and Omega, Beginning and the End, What Was, Is and Is to Come!
Help me with this 'Waiting' game. October 04 The Lord Gives and the Lord Takes, Lets Glorify His Name.Lord, You know how my heart aches, and how I feel right now! It makes me smile when I know that the 1st person Gail ever saw was You! She deserved the best. And I know You deserve her. But God all these things dont help ease the pain right now. You are going to be the Strength and Love that gets the Ross' through the next hours, days and weeks ahead. They are heart broken and numb to the whole reality of whats happening. You have brought them this far and I know you will bring them further. I feel so far away and useless, but God I love this family. When nobody else believed in me Tom and Gail did, and the fun, laughter, joy, peace, love and kindness shown to me via them can never be spoken in words! Be with Tom right now, be his strength when his heart is broken.And be a mum to Heather and Bonnie. Lord I love them so much, my heart breaks for the people left behind, not Gail. Shes in Paradise.
You Give us Treasures every day, and we never thank you enough, but when you Take them away we get angry. Something is wrong there, You Give and You Take Away and I will Glorify You Forever. Amen
September 29 60 secondsWe can last 4 weeks without food,
We can last 3 days without water,
But we can only last 60 seconds without HOPE.
Ive had a GREAT week at school, my pupils give me a lot of Hope, in the rarest of moments! During form time my students wrote about their biggest influence. Two of the girls wrote stories that put hope back into my life. One talked about how her mum is the world to her, and the other wrote about her faith. Both very well written, and inspirational. Just when I was ready to give up on them. Its been a GREAT week, God never gave me more than I could handle because He was with me. I have a lot of things on my mind, none of which have to do with school, but still God saw me through! We should never go into our day without taking God with us. God gives us the Hope to face each minute. Without Hope we have no future! I have had a GREAT week, and there are still 2 days left - its looking good! Hope yours is too! September 21 What will Your Room Contain?''"In My Father's House are many rooms," Jesus said. One of them was added on when you became His child. That one is yours, and no one else can ever occupy it. It is secret to you and Him. It's your own private Sistene Chapel. It is furnished by every moment of intimacy and wonder and togetherness shared by you and your Father.' (God is Closer Than You Think - John Ortberg)
This is so amazing to me, I was lying the bath yesterday reading it, and i was WOWed! God has a room just for me? Me and Him will be lying up on my huge bed chatting about the times we have shared together, both the things Ive loved doing, and the things Ive been challenged in. Then He will answer all these questions I have. God really does want to be part of our lives, but isnt this the coolest thing ever? Im excited! September 12 ANSWER ME THISOk so me and my mate have been thinking about God stuff, and I was in a mid week service last Wednesday and the minister was talking about Calvins TULIPS (ill tell you about that another time) but anyhow one of the points the minister said was that 'The Prayers of the Unsaved, go Unheard', and at first I was suprised, and I guess taken aback, can this really be true? But Ive asked a lot of people their thoughts, and I now need to know what you think? There is a verse which states that God alienates those who refuse Him. I now grasp the idea, and how it makes sence, I mean those who arent yet saved only pray to God when they need help, right? Anyhow, let me know your thoughts! So to recap again ..........Q. Does God Hear the Prayers of the Unsaved? A. ............... August 31 Life TodayLIFE
why do we hurt? why is there pain? i know that in a few years everything will make sence, but right now its too much! i start work this week, but really my heart is somewhere else. i try to keep myself busy but reality doesnt disappear! i can hide it for a while but its always there! so why bother running? God I know you are Bigger, Greater, and Larger than life as we know it, please give me peace in my soul! Last week was hard for me, then i got home and my papa is in hospital. God whatever your plan is for me, can i have a quick glimse?
RELATIONSHIPS
God, it has all become clear to me how precious relationships are. i dont want to take any for granted, i thank you for all my friends. today i thought about boyfriends, and how much we can ruin when we have one! unless its the one i am going to marry, whats the point? im only taking away something that my future husband should have! i am reading 'every single womans battle' and it hit me that men become attracted through what they see, whereas women fall in love with their heart and emotions! so we should protect both!
CONVERSATIONS
in the last week i have had some of the best conversations in my life. i prayed that God would bless every person i talked too, and wow! so much has come out of these, and i pray that i continue to converse about certain topics with those people. its amazing how vulnerable i can be when talking! but its so cool because when im vulnerble it opens the other person up to talk!
CHANGES
well i know, now more than ever, that life changes without warning at times! God makes me grow in change, I dont always like it, beacuse it means i have to be ready for it, and thats something im not good with! i like things to be the same all the time! call me boring, call me whatever, but thats me! Yet, i can see why God needs change, i understand why people come and go, they have been for centuries, its just hard when its my own!
AUGUST
who would have thought i would have gone through such a change this month! what a month it has been! im sooooooo thankful Joy came over, and shook me out of my existance into this life of living! now ive been given an opportunity to minister to 300 kids a week in my classroom, they think im teaching geography!!! im praying that these kids see Christ in and though me! lets see what this month brings!
August 29 You ShineWhy should I feel mad,
As I stood to sing this song on Saturday night, at Brian Doerksen's Concert in Ottawa, I felt like there is nothing in this world that can separate me from the love God has for me! No matter what trial I face, no matter how crappy things seem, He Shines brighter than all those things! I felt so open, so at peace, and so great. I just got home from Canada this morning, and goodbyes are never easy, but when the chances of you ever seeing someone you love again, are very small, it takes a lot out of you! God really cuddled me this week, I had an amazing week, it was difficult but very enjoyable and worthwhile! God is so much more real than we can imagine, no matter what we are going through, Hes been there! When we hurt, He hurts more! I have so much growing to do but I feel like Im heading in the right direction,there is nothing I want more than to follow Gods calling for my life, I cant do this on my own, God has the lead! I pray that my conversations are blessed, and as I start my new job tomorrow that the students and other teachers, see Christ shine through me! I want my heart to be visible! Remember that God doesnt just love you, He likes you too! August 21 Out Of My Hands ..... Into YoursIn the last 2 weeks, I have seen my life take an about turn, and its so amazing what God can do! Ive been praying that God pushes me to take the opportunities He has given to tell others about how much I love Him, and its unbelieveable! I took myself out of my comfort zone in some conversations but never came away with bruises, God gave me the words and wow! I could talk and talk about what Ive been doing and witnessing but I need you to be praying with me for this week! Im going into a situation with 2 hearts, 1 cant wait to get there, and embrace the love from my family, and the other 1 is scared stiff of what to expect. But both go with the knowledge that God comes with me. So Id appreciate you would pray for me and the week ahead, and the weeks ahead for the family Ill be leaving on Sunday.
Father - You are the Almighty, the All Powerful, All Loving, All Knowing King, and I humbly come to you tonight to give you my worries and thanks. God You know what Im going to experience this week, You know my heart, and You know whats expected of me, so Father I ask that You give me a heart of compassion, love and understanding for my family in Canada. God You know the number of days we have on this earth before we are even born, and who are we to question that! Grant us the grace to see the world from your perspective. God I ask that your pour blessing, upon blessing, upon blessing on the Ross house, I pray that your angels surround the family and hem them in, in these days ahead. God You are the All in All, and I thank you for all you have accomplished for me. Without You I am nothing, but with you I am everything, and it is my prayer that through the lives of your people, others will come to see how Majestic You are, and whatever is holding them back from you God, I pray they see you though new eyes, and realise that only You are Eternal. Everything else will one day pass away but You will stay the same. God grant me the grace to Be Yours. Amen August 18 Why Does God Make Believing In Him So Difficult?God used the direct approach back in the Old Testament, He sent the plague on Egypt to free the Israelites, but they soon doubted Him again. He sent them food straight from heaven, but some rebelled. He continually led them by a cloud at day, and by a fire at night, but many still questioned Him. He personally gave them in great detail, all the directions they needed to be related to Him (The Law of the Old Testament-there's over 600 of them), but they broke every one! And even when they did keep all the 'rules', the Law of the Old Testament failed to achieve what God wanted to achieve with the Isralites - a loving, trusting relationship!
Love must be chosen. It must be free, and it must be from the heart, without external motivations. So God settles on a 'middle of the road' program. He is present enough so that those who want to experience Him can experience Him, but absent enough so that those who don't want to experience Him aren't forced to. God is obvious enough so that those who want to see Him can see Him, but hidden enough so that those who don't want to see Him can avoid Him. Love requires both evidence and hiddenness.
Perhaps the question shouldn't be 'Why is it hard to believe in God?' but 'Do I really want to believe in God?' August 10 Love
August 09 Face to FaceNo more side view, here I am, ready to view the most Holy face to face. I can no longer be fake, I can no longer pull this mask on, I can no longer pretend to rely on you but do things by myself. If I continue to be the person I am, yes perhaps it will be good enough for others, but I know and You know thats not acceptable. I will not grow into the person you planned me to be, I have to be face to face with You, so that I dont get side tracked or loose my footing. Just like learning to ski, when I stay right behind the instructor and followed the carvings she made in the snow, how much easier was it than going alone? Yes i can ski alone but I wont improve my skills. So Lord I come as a broken soul, giving you my all, and letting You remould me in Your image. I want to follow the carvings you are making in this world. Stretch me, Open me, Reveal the Truth inside of me, so that others can see how brilliant you are. I can go no further on my own, for so long Ive tried and now looking back I can tell when I was closest to you. Lord let it be just the 2 of us like it was in Canada, when all I had in my life was You, I knew nobody and nowhere and yet I have never felt as safe. It was then that I stood face to face with you, and saw the Glory. Lord, come back and show me again.
.Glory.Love.Fear.Peace.Growth.Faith.Patience.Reality.
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